Fun Friday—Funny Caption Contest (with giveaway!)

I’ve got a bunch of books with my name on the cover/spine sitting around my house taking up valuable storage space. So it’s time to give away a few. But you’ll have to work for it.
“Now Caption This” Contest
This is a two-day contest—running Friday, February 10 and Saturday, February 11, 2012 (ending at 12-midnight Central US time Saturday night).
I need a laugh. Your job is to try to make me (and thus each other) laugh by coming up with funny caption for the following photos. This is a subjective contest, because I’ll pick the three winners based on whose captions I think are funniest. You can do any or all of the photos, up to three captions each (total of nine, so make each one count). I will pick a winning caption for each of the three photos. Be sure to label your caption with A, B, or C so we know which one it applies to. You can click on the photo to enlarge it.
Each of the winners will get to pick their choice of one of my nine books to be signed and mailed to them. I’ll e-mail the winners and post the announcement on Sunday.
- All captions must be posted as comments here on the blog, not on Facebook or Twitter, to count as entries in the contest. Please be as creative and clean as possible. Captions not marked A, B, or C will not be considered entries, so make sure to label them appropriately.
Ready . . . set . . . CAPTION!
.
.
.
.
Thursday Thought Provoker

Writer-Talk Tuesday: Monthly Writing Update
I had a goal of trying to get the first draft of Follow the Heart finished by the end of January and, as you can see from the counter on the right side of the page, while I made some progress (about 10,000 words), I’m still not even halfway finished with the book. So, what am I going to do to make sure I get this book finished by mid-March at the latest?
Well, first off, I’m cutting my cable TV service off. Really this is more of an issue of finances than commitment to writing, but it should help with both issues.
Second, I’m going to try to get my house organized and cleaned. One of the outward signs/symptoms of depression is the inability to keep house. And the resulting chaos only feeds the feelings of being surrounded and overwhelmed by chaos.
Third, I need to start getting more physical activity every day. I had to drop my gym membership (finances, again) so I don’t have that outlet, but there is a community center in my neighborhood at which I can use the walking track for free when the weather’s bad. Also, the first week or so, spending time cleaning/organizing the house every day will add to that activity.
Fourth, I need to print and re-read the first eleven chapters of Follow the Heart and try to connect and fall in love with my characters and my setting. Because right now, there is no connection, which makes it really hard to write.
Fifth, I think it might be time to take some stuff down off the walls, pull out my synopsis, and go to my old stand by . . . scene-card Post-its to track where I’ve been and where I need to go:
Sixth, I need to be writing an average of 1,800 to 2,000 words a day. And to do that, I need to be doing at least one 1k1h sprint every afternoon/evening. If I do that, I can definitely meet that mid-March deadline.
So, that’s where I am with my writing.
How are you doing with your writing goals one month in to the new year? Share your successes/challenges!
Book-Talk Monday: What Are You Reading (February 2012)
It’s the first Monday of the month, so it’s time to share what we’re reading!
.
- What is the most recent book you’ve finished reading? (Please tell us a little about it, and whether or not you enjoyed/would recommend it.)
I don’t know if I should count this, but I just finished a re-read of Ransome’s Crossing on my Kindle. (I purchased it when it was on sale for under $2 on Amazon the week after Christmas—yes, I have to purchase the e-book versions of my own books!) Would I recommend it? Well, what do you think? 😀
Last week, I finished a re-listen (the fourth or fifth time through???) of the 4th, 5th, 6th, and 7th books in the Harry Potter series. So that’s why I don’t have any new-to-me books finished to report. Back when I was so sick the first couple of weeks of January, I couldn’t bring myself to concentrate on something new, so old favorites were in order. And, of course, once I started (I started with Goblet of Fire, because, IMO, that’s the one in which the series story-arc really picks up speed), I couldn’t stop without finishing out the series.
After I finished Deathly Hallows, on the recommendation of April Erwin, I tried Twilight. I tried really, really hard to like it, but I gave up at the point where Edward returns to school and freaks Bella out even more by being nice to her. I just can’t get the movie out of my head enough for the book to stand on its own. And it’s not a matter of not enjoying books after seeing the movie—I came to the Harry Potter series by first watching the first three movies before reading the books. So Twilight goes on my DNF (did not finish) list. Sorry, April!
- What are you currently reading?
Currently reading (Kindle): A Tailor-Made Bride by Karen Witemeyer
Currently listening to (audio book): A Kiss at Midnight by Eloisa James (a pseudo-Regency era retelling of the Cinderella story)
- What’s the next book on your To Be Read stack?
Follow the Heart, Book 1 of the Great Exhibition series by Kaye Dacus—I must finish this manuscript so that I have time for rewrites, revisions, and edits before I have to turn it in on May 1!
Fun Friday—Which DOWNTON ABBEY Character Are You?

We haven’t done a “which one are you” quiz here in a long time. And when I found this one, I thought many of you would enjoy it as much as I did. (Of course, if you’re a devoted fan of the series, as I am, you’ll be able to stack the answers in the favor of the character you want, pretty much. But do try to be as honest as possible!)
Click below to go to the quiz (it will open in a new tab/window), take the quiz, then come back and report your results!
My results (no surprise here!):
You are the Dowager Countess of Grantham, Violet Crawley (Maggie Smith). You do not suffer fools gladly. In fact you do not suffer anything at all because you refuse to entertain any form of discomfort in your life whatsoever.
Thursday Thought Provoker

Writer-Talk Tuesday: Beware of the “Pie-in-the-Sky” Self-Publishing Gurus

Have you ever heard/read one of these self-publishing gurus say or write something to this effect?
Avoid all legacy publishers. You can do everything they can, faster, and you don’t have to give away the majority of your income.
That’s a quote from this post from Joe Konrath’s blog where he proselytizes for self-publishing.
Let me take issue with a few things he says in this blog post that get under my skin:
I don’t see any noticeable sales boosts when I’m mentioned in some major periodical. The best media attention I ever received didn’t account for more than a few hundred extra sales. I’ve sold almost 700,000 ebooks. A few hundred doesn’t mean diddly.
Really? A few hundred book sales don’t “mean diddly” to you? Well, for a traditionally published author whose sales put me squarely in the midlist category, a few hundred sales are huge! Most traditionally published, midlist authors can expect to sell anywhere from between 5,000 to 20,000 books. A “few hundred” books to us represents a huge bump in sales and can mean the difference in whether or not we’ve sold enough to earn back our advances so that we actually start making royalties.
The majority of self-published authors would kill for a “few hundred” sales—because most self-published authors are going to do well to sell a “few hundred” in total.
Look at my Amazon reviews. I’ve got thousands.
Um, yeah. Because you got your start as a traditionally published author who, through the marketing/publicity efforts of your publishing house (and your own efforts, too, I’m sure), became a best-selling author with name recognition and a dedicated fanbase—from which you made a good living (I’m assuming)—before you moved into self-publishing.
But I didn’t make $140k in the last 30 days because of thankful writers, old fans, or a mention in the Guardian. I made it because I positioned my titles properly.
And you were able to pay to position your titles properly because you’re making money from already being a best-selling author and making money from your previously published books. The majority of authors, whether traditionally or self published, will never make that kind of money.
2. Focus, as always, on writing good books and presenting them in a professional way. The more, the better.
3. Social media and word of mouth are helpful, but you have to reach a lot of people before these become a factor. Less tweeting, more writing.
Totally agree with these two points!!!
And, back to the quote at the beginning of my post:
Avoid all legacy publishers. You can do everything they can, faster, and you don’t have to give away the majority of your income.
Um, no, actually, Joe, WE can’t do everything a traditional publisher can do (though if he’s truly making $140,000/month and believes everyone else e-publishing is too, then I can see how he could be under this misconception). Most e-published/self-published authors are lucky to make between $100 and $200 per month. Traditional publishers have so many more resources, so many more contacts in the industry, and so much more MONEY than we authors do to effect promotion of our books. Oh, and that’s not to mention the expense that self-published authors must (though some don’t) go to for professional editing, typesetting, copywriting, cover design, etc.
We can do it “faster”??? Not hardly. We could spend twelve to fifteen hours a day working on production and marketing and never make the impact that having a traditional publishing house behind us has.
“You don’t have to give away the majority of your income”???? How does he think we’re going to pay for all that editing and marketing and promotion that traditional publishers do for us after they’ve PAID us to write the book? Even traditionally published authors have to put some of our own money back into the promotion effort on top of the money our publishers are putting into getting our books out in front of (hopefully) the right people to try to increase sales.
The truth of self-publishing that most people considering it don’t get told is that once you go down that path, you’re going to find yourself struggling for time to write because if you really want to make money from book sales, you’re going to have to put hours and hours and hours of work every day into marketing. I still have to do this, too, even with the marketing efforts of my publishing houses doing what they’re doing.
There’s an old adage from the sales industry that is also true of the publishing industry: You have to spend money to make money. And in our industry, you also have to spend time to make money. The question becomes is how much are you willing to spend to ensure you have a quality product that will go a long way towards assisting your promotion efforts?
And don’t just do the minimum that will get you by. Do your best. Work from the heart for your real Master, for God, confident that you’ll get paid in full when you come into your inheritance. Keep in mind always that the ultimate Master you’re serving is Christ. The sullen servant who does shoddy work will be held responsible. Being a follower of Jesus doesn’t cover up bad work.
Colossians 3:23–25, The Message
If it’s worth doing, it’s worth taking the time to do it right.
Book-Talk Monday: How do you organize and track your books?
Just in case you missed these last summer, I reorganized my real-world books. Click here to watch the video of “before,” and here’s “after”:
So I have my real-world fiction books categorized by genre and, within each genre, alphabetized by author and title. My nonfiction books are separated into categories: writing books; school textbooks I couldn’t part with; a large shelf of U.S. Civil War books (I did minor in that in college, after all); Bibles, Bible studies, devotionals, commentaries, and hymnals (I have three: Broadman, Baptist, and Methodist); books in German (some my dad brought back from Germany, some I got while I was taking German in high school and college); and “miscellaneous” nonfiction.

Yikes, I need to do some re-shelving/organizing!
Organizing an E-Book Reader
I’d been using the Kindle for PC app on my computer for quite some time before I got my Kindle. Well . . . I’d downloaded the program and downloaded some free e-books (classics, mostly). But I did already have some content which downloaded to my Kindle when it arrived. And I realized very quickly that if I ever wanted to find anything on it, I’d have to figure out a way of organizing that works for me. So I started setting up collections. General collections at first: Classics. Romance (included historical and contemporary, general market and CBA). Nonfiction. Other Fiction.
But then, when I got to the point at which I was adding more content to my Kindle than to my paper-and-glue library, I realized I’d have to start getting even more specific with my collections. Splitting out contemporary and historical romance. Splitting those even further into general market and CBA collections. Splitting “other” into more specific categories: mystery, speculative fiction, young adult, general fiction, historical fiction.

There’s a second screen containing another four or five collections.
Just last week, I made another organizational decision and split my general-market historical romance category and put all of the samples I’ve downloaded into their own folder (and with 95 samples, this was a good decision).
But as I was going through and looking at the titles of the books in that historical romance category, one of the (several) gripes I have with using an text-based e-reader came back to me . . . I’m a visually oriented person, and the first thing that draws me to a book is the cover. The second thing is the back-cover blurb. And I get NEITHER of these on my Kindle. (I know, many e-readers are now full color and have this capability. I, however, am a poor author and can’t afford one of those.) I have wireless at home and it’s a 3G model Kindle, so I know I can look up the book description online. But I still can’t see the cover in color and it’s sometimes slow and/or freezes up on me when I do so.
I thought about, and actually started, setting up boards on Pinterest with the covers and the back-cover blurb for each book on my Kindle. But . . . not only was that taking FOREVER to look up each book and pin it, once it was on Pinterest, I couldn’t arrange/sort them. So I deleted the few boards I did manage to get through.
For a few weeks, I pondered this. I could set up a spreadsheet, copying over the cover images and cover blurbs. But, again, there was the issue of time.
So I finally figured out what I needed to do. I opened up a new account on Goodreads with a secondary e-mail address and set up bookshelves there correlating to the collections on my Kindle.
Now, when I get ready to start a new book, and scrolling through the Kindle isn’t, well, kindling interest in any of them, I have a tool I can use to look at all of the content on my device, in the way I have it organized on my device, to help me make my choice. Of course, this means remembering to update Goodreads whenever I download something new. But since I almost always do that at the computer anyway, it should be an easy habit to form.
How do you organize and/or keep track of your books/e-books?
Buy a Book, Save a Starving Author
Okay, so I’m not starving yet. But every penny of extra income is needed, so I’m offering signed books for a low cost that includes shipping!

Book covers below link to the series page where you can find out more about each book.

The Ransome Trilogy

Fun Friday—Eureka!!!

At forty years old, I think I’ve finally figured out why I’m not only still single, but why I’ve never been out on a date!
(“One Hundred Easy Ways” from Wonderful Town, music by Leonard Bernstein, lyrics by Betty Comden and Adolph Green)
And now you know the secret to my (singleness) success! 😉










