Fun Friday: “You Might Be a Southern Baptist If…”
I mentioned to someone last night that my family has been Southern Baptist back before there was such a thing as “Southern Baptists,” which reminded me of this list that started out as twenty or twenty-five items when someone forwarded it to a member of my family. You’ll notice we extended it to forty items.
You might be a Southern Baptist if . . .
1. you believe you’re supposed to take a covered dish to heaven when you die.
2. you have never sung the third verse of any hymn.
3. you have ever put an IOU in the offering plate.
4. you think someone who says “amen” while the pastor is preaching might be a charismatic.
5. you complained because your pastor only works one day a week and then he works too long.
6. you clapped in church last Sunday and felt guilty about it all week.
7. you woke up one morning craving fried chicken and interpreted that as a call to preach.
8. you think the epistles are probably the wives of the apostles.
9. you are old enough to get a senior citizen discount at Shoney’s, but not old enough to promote into the senior adult Sunday School department.
10. you think the Holy Land is in Middle Tennessee. [isn’t it?]
11. you feel the urge to stand up and sing the doxology after they take up a collection for a charity at work.
12. you know that alien baptism has nothing to do with extra terrestrials.
13. you think the general assembly meets before going to Sunday School classes.
14. you have a sister named Lottie or a brother named Adoniram
15. you can sing all six verses of “Just As I Am” without looking at the hymn book.
16. your church has a preacher rather than a pastor, and HIS title is Brother rather than Reverend.
17. you buy books written in Elizabethan English because the language is easier to understand.
18. you think “mixed-bathing” refers to men and women swimming within sight of one another at the beach.
19. you think “academic fellowship” means a bunch of professors having a get together after church, with food involved.
20. your church celebrated your pastor’s thirtieth birthday and his fifteenth anniversary as an ordained minister all in the same year.
21. you think “The Association” is an organization your church belongs to and a singing group. (also you are probably reading this through bifocals)
22. you spent your formative years as a G.A., then an Acteen, and all you have to show for it is a cardboard crown and a painted stick with a star on it.
23. you alternate your summers vacationing in North Carolina and New Mexico.
24. people prefer to take you and your friend from church fishing at the same time so that they can have all the beer to themselves.
25. you think a lecture on the Early Church refers to the 8:45 service.
26. you throw a dollar in the offering plate at church and take out over fifty cents in change.
27. your home life refers to something in your magazine rack rather than the quality time you spend away from work.
28. the seminary your pastor attended took its name from a point on the compass.
29. “where two or more are gathered . . .” there’s bound to be LOTS of food.
30. you feel guilty putting your thumb over the edge of your Bible’s cover before the preacher has finished announcing where the sermon text can be found.
31. after joining the church, your box of offering envelopes arrives in the mail before the pastor’s letter welcoming you as a new member.
32. you have several, years-old boxes of such envelopes but are afraid to throw them out lest you have nothing to turn in at Sunday School to prove your attendance.
33. after 30 years of marriage, you are still dividing up into “girls” and “boys” classes for Sunday School.
34. you still refer to “Discipleship Training” as “Training Union” or “Church Training.”
35. you know the pledge to the Bible and the Christian flag and are intimately acquainted with the intricacies of making key racks, pot holders, and anything out of egg cartons.
36. you consider any music without shape-notes “contemporary.”
37. you know that Robert’s Rules of Order were written by Robert the Maccabee, moderator for the Disciples Business Meetings and caller for the Quorum.
38. in an emergency situation, when asked to do something religious, you take up an offering.
39. you’re on 6 standing committees (including the Committee on Committees) and three have never met.
40. you still call it “The Baptist Sunday School Board,” and “The Baptist Bookstore,” instead of “Lifeway Christian Resources.”
Sounding Out the Words
This was originally posted in August 2006
“The goal of reading is not to sound out words but to unlock meaning.”
~Jill Frankel Hauser, Wow! I’m Reading!
I don’t really remember the process of learning how to read. I remember not liking to read aloud because, occasionally, the letters would switch places on the page and Malibu would become Mabilu, nova—avon. I’m not dyslexic by any stretch of the imagination—I just think my brain skipped ahead, then fell back to where it was supposed to be, mixing up the letters in the process.
I do remember that I disliked spelling bees in school, but I usually did pretty well on spelling and vocabulary tests (aside from the occasional mixed-up letters). As an adult, I know the reason why I’m a bad oral speller is because I’m visually oriented. If someone asks me to spell a word longer than about five or six letters, I scrounge for a scrap of paper and pen to write it down before trying to spell it out for them.
The quote above is from a book I edited at work—a reading how-to for parents of three- to seven-year-olds. Since I had to retype the entire 160 page tome, I spent a couple of weeks thinking about reading and stories and how much of an impact the written word has had on my life, and how thankful I am that I have a decent level of mastery over the English language, both spoken and written.
Because I was exposed to print as something more than just a necessary evil—the “sounding out” of the words—I fell in love with the world of fiction. I could find new worlds, live different lives, meet new and interesting people all by reading (which was great for a socially inept introvert like I was!). I thank God that both of my parents are avid readers and that sitting in the living room quietly on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon reading was a normal occurrence in our home.
As children, we live in a world of make-believe—just observe any child at play. At a certain age, though, most children are taught that make-believe is childish and to grow up, they must stop playing—stop making believe—and live in a world of fact, not fantasy. Once again, I must thank God that my parents never did this to me. At thirteen or fourteen years old, when I told my mother of stories I wished my favorite series of YA romances (the Sunfire series) would do, she encouraged me not just to write the publisher (Scholastic) but to write the stories myself. Even though I never completed writing one, I did query the publisher (and received my first, very kind, rejection). But those first original ideas committed to paper (before, all of my stories had been acted out with my Barbies) immersed me in a world of “unlocking the meaning” of words and language. I began to see weekly vocabulary lists as more than just something to be memorized—they added meaning, richness, and texture to my world. To this day, my one must-have writing tool is Roget’s Encyclopedic Thesaurus (the one arranged thematically, not dictionary-style) or access to http://www.thesaurus.com.
It took me many years to get a grasp on the technical aspects of writing fiction, and only in the last six or seven years have I written anything I’m willing to let anyone else read. But since as far back as twenty-four or twenty-five years ago, writing has added meaning to my life as much or more than reading. Writing for me is sounding-out the literal and figurative words that make up the world around and inside of me so that I can unlock its meaning.
2008 Movies to See Update 2
Maybe I should have waited and made this my Fun Friday post, but since this is my last official goals list, I figured I’d go ahead and get it out of the way, too.
In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale — Well, I got this one on DVD from Netflix a couple of weeks ago. It sat on the table for about nine days before I sent it back, unwatched. I might request it again eventually, but there were too many other movies I’d rather watch instead.
27 Dresses — This was a much more enjoyable movie than The Devil Wears Prada by the same filmmakers. As with most “romantic comedies” the biggest problem I had with it is the fact that the hero and heroine have sex before they’ve actually committed to each other/their relationship.
The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything: A VeggieTales Movie — In my Netflix queue.
In Bruges — At the top of my Netflix queue. I think it’s listed as releasing on June 10, so I should be watching this one sometime this month.
The Spiderwick Chronicles — Such a great movie! We went to see it opening weekend. The theater wasn’t overly crowded, and because we went in the evening, it was mostly adults, which for me added to the enjoyment of the outing. Freddie Highmore is a wonderful actor, and I see big things in store for him as he grows up. (Of course, I thought the same thing about Haley Joel Osment, too, and he’s kind of disappeared off the face of the earth.) This is one I’ll be purchasing on DVD eventually.
Jumper — In the top five in my Netflix queue.
The Other Boleyn Girl — In the top five in my Netflix queue.
Penelope — This was very, very, very cute. Another one I’ll purchase when it comes out on DVD. The story writer took a traditional fairytale about finding “true love” and turned it on its ear (nose?) by teaching the protagonist what “true love” and acceptance really mean. The thing I found most odd about this film is that they had some of their British actors using their real accents and some of them using fake American accents (this especially bothered me with James McAvoy, who has the most delightful Scottish accent that we never get to hear). Simon Woods, Mr. Bingley in the 2005 version of Pride & Prejudice, is in this film in addition to James McAvoy (Becoming Jane, Narnia/The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe), Richard E. Grant (The Scarlet Pimpernel, Gosford Park), Peter Dinklage (Prince Caspian), Burn Gorman (Torchwood, Bleak House), Reese Witherspoon, and Catherine O’Hara (Beetlejuice, Home Alone).
Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day — As I mentioned in last Friday’s post, this is the best movie I’ve seen so far in 2008. Frances McDormand (Fargo, Wonder Boys) and Ciaran Hinds (Persuasion 2005, Amazing Grace) are magnificent as the older romantic couple in the story. Amy Adams is, well, Amy Adams (she seems to play this type of role a lot) and stays just this side of annoying as a bubble-headed wanna-be actress who’s juggling three men—one with money to support her in the way she likes (Mark Strong, Stardust, Emma), one with connections to the theatre world who can get her on stage (Tom Payne, Wuthering Heights 2008), and one who is poor—and her true love (Lee Pace, Pushing Daisies). This is a definite “must buy” for me.
The Accidental Husband — Looks like a pretty straight-forward rom-com plot, but if it’s well done, this should be a very fun movie. Especially if Colin Firth gets thwarted! 🙂 I may wait for it to come out on DVD, just depends on what’s going on when it comes out. UPDATE: The release of this film has been pushed from May back to August. Never a good sign.
Inkheart — The release of this film has been pushed back to January 2009 according to IMDb.
Leatherheads — I love football. This is a rom-com set in the 1920s, just as pro football was getting started. Now, I absolutely cannot stand to look at Renee Zellweger, but this looks like a good enough story that I’d be willing to suffer through seeing her on the screen to watch it (though I may opt for seeing it on DVD). UPDATE: Saved on Netflix for when it comes out on DVD.
Made of Honor — With all of the terrible reviews this movie got, I think I’m going to skip it.
The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian — Seen it TWICE—once on opening night and again the following Friday when I was off work. While it’s not quite as good as far as characterization as the first film, it moves much faster and features m’darling William Moseley (Peter) in a spectacular one-on-one sword fight with the bad guy.
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull — This is one of those films that it’s best not to think about too much after watching it. Too much analysis and it completely falls apart. It made for a very fun two hours at the theater. They did a great job with the tongue-in-cheek humor about how old Indy is. The scene at the end with the “passing of the hat,” made us all realize that this isn’t just the capstone for Lucas and Spielberg, a way of saying goodbye to Indy after twenty years, it’s the lead-in to a rumored new trilogy featuring Shia LaBeouf (Holes, Transformers). And if the new trilogy is anything like Lucas’s most recent trilogy…heaven help us.
The Happening — The more I’ve seen previews for this movie, the more I’m considering waiting for it to come out on DVD. I’m a huge honking chicken when it comes to scary movies, and as the previews have been saying, this is M. Night Shyamalan’s first R-rated movie. Signs scared the crap out of me when I saw it at the theater, so I know The Happening will be even more frightening. I just hope this doesn’t mean that Shyamalan is going the route of Wes Craven—that he’s not becoming a “horror” film writer. I’ve always loved the suspense that he builds in his films, and with the exception of the cop-out ending of Signs and major plot holes in The Village, he’s been one of my favorite filmmakers.
WALL·E — Now that I’ve seen (too many) previews of this film, I think I’ll wait for it on DVD. Probably for a long time.
Australia — I’d heard rumors about this movie, but we finally saw a preview for it last week before the new Indiana Jones movie. This is a film made entirely by Australians about the bombing of Darwin, Australia, by the Japanese which drew Oz into World War II. The top-billed cast is stellar: Nicole Kidman, Hugh Jackman (X-Men, Kate & Leopold), and David Wenham (Faramir in Lord of the Rings); the rest of the cast is a who’s-who of Australian film and TV.
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince — Instead of a summer release like last year (timed to coincide with the release of the seventh book), the sixth movie will be a holiday release as per normal.
Star Trek — This is J.J. Abrams’s take on the Star Trek universe, which right now is scheduled to release on Christmas Day. All I have to say for those of you who don’t recognize his name is that he’s the executive producer behind LOST, Alias, Six Degrees, Felicity, and What About Brian?, not to mention his upcoming big-screen debut with Cloverfield. Oh, and Karl Urban is in this movie (as Dr. Leonard “Bones” McCoy)!!!!!
Upcoming/Current Movies I MIGHT see:
Sex and the City: When this one premieres on TBS or TNT or USA, I’ll probably watch it. Before then, though, I most likely won’t make an extreme effort to see it.
Iron Man: If I ever get through the 50+ films already on my Netflix queue, I might see this one.
Get Smart: But only because Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is in it.
Hancock: Again, as I mentioned last Friday, I think I may have seen too many previews for this film. But if I have nothing else to do, I might see it.
Journey to the Center of the Earth: Brendan Fraser has been a busy man the last year or so, with three films (that were) slated to release this year (though Inkheart has been pushed back). From the previews, it looks like he’s playing his regular sarcastic, joke-cracking character in this movie. Will be a rental if I see it at all.
The X-Files: I Want to Believe: Hmmm . . . I didn’t watch the last couple of years of the TV show, so I’m not sure I want to see this film. But it might make for an interesting rental.
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor: While I believe that trying to do another Mummy movie is ill-conceived, the previews actually look pretty good. And it’s got Jet Li in it as the new Mummy, and John Hannah has returned as Jonathan, the somewhat inept but always funny sidekick. What I’ll miss from the original two: ODED FEHR as Ardeth Bay—obviously, since they won’t be in Egypt, they won’t need a Magi to help them figure out what’s going on; Rachel Weisz as Evelyn—it’s never a good sign when they can’t get the original actress back to play a role, and I’m not thrilled with the casting of American actress Maria Bello—who looks nothing like Weisz—as her replacement; and Arnold Vosloo as Imhotep (the mummy)—he’s such a good bad guy.
City of Ember: I’ve seen previews for this post-apocalyptic action/adventure/kids-save-the-population film a couple of times. It looks interesting—but from the previews it also looks like a thinly-veiled propaganda film about questioning authority, standing up against the people in charge, or, in other words, a pro-anarchy film. Now, I know that’s taking a three minute preview pretty far, but it does look like a theme eerily similar to that in Happy Feet.
Quantum of Solace: I’ve only ever watched one Bond movie all the way through, and that was Daniel Craig’s first outing as 007 in Casino Royale I suppose I could probably be talked into going to see this one.
Upcoming Movies I will NOT see:
You Don’t Mess with the Zohan: I don’t see any movies with Adam Sandler in them. And just from the previews that have inundated TV recently, I’ll have no trouble sticking to my guns on this one. I can’t stand Adam Sandler and his puerile “humor.”
Kung Fu Panda: I’ve seen too many trailers, too much promotion, too many promotional tie-ins to be remotely interested in this film.
The Love Guru: I used to like Mike Myers when he was on Saturday Night Live back in the late 1980s/early 1990s. But since he’s started making movies, I don’t find him very funny any more. I’ve tried watching the Austin Powers movies and usually end up turning them off after about twenty or thirty minutes from lack of interest. I can tell from the previews this one will be in a similar vein—raunchy, with the only “humor” in it centered around sexual innuendo.
Step-Brothers: Along with Adam Sandler, Will Farrell is another “actor” whose movies I refuse to see, mostly because I know the so-called humor is going to be juvenile and offensive—stupid jokes/pratfalls for cheap laughs. I prefer more intelligent comedies, thank you very much.
2008 Personal Goals Update 2
Continuing on with updating my 2008 goals . . .
1. Become active in church again. This is the goal on which I am failing miserably. Yesterday, it was the excuse that my gas tank was riding on empty and I didn’t want to drive any more than necessary. But my actions belied the excuse. I have my DVR set up to record my church’s service, and yet I haven’t watched it. I long to be there and to be a part of the greater spiritual community, yet when Sunday morning rolls around, I have no desire to go. I know I need to stop depending on motivation and just make myself get back in the habit of going, and before long I’ll start looking forward to going again. But for now, it continues to be a huge struggle.
2. Become a better housekeeper. This is one of the reasons why I’ve been feeling like I’m cycling down into depression recently . . . because the amount of organizing I need to do in my house has become somewhat overwhelming. So I’m setting aside half an hour a night to do some kind of organizational activity. Because I have very little storage space in my house, I need to make sure I’m making the best use of space . . . and I need to get rid of stuff I either don’t need or don’t use. I know in the beginning it won’t feel like I’m making any headway, but if I can stick with thirty minutes a day, eventually my tendency to just pile stuff up will be under control.
3. Become more hospitable with inviting people over. Last time I had someone over was in March—and that was only because it snowed and the roads were too bad for Ruth to drive all the way home to Murfreesboro after we went to the movies. I was somewhat embarrassed to have her over because the house was such a mess. Which is why this one is so closely tied to #2.
4. Lose weight. The goal I set for myself was to try to lose ten pounds a month, or 80–90 pounds by the ACFW conference in September. Well, I started exercising three to four times a week after work with a coworker, and I tried doing it on my own, but by March, I’d only lost 10 pounds. So we joined Weight Watchers. As of my weigh-in last Tuesday, I’ve lost a total of 22.7 pounds since January! I’m fitting into clothes that have been boxed up in my closet for three or four years—in fact, most of my pants are now too big on me.
5. Buy no new clothing this year. Well, this one has fallen to the wayside, but for good reason. I needed some way to celebrate the success of losing weight. Even though I am fitting back into the majority of clothes I already own, it’s been wonderfully affirming to be able to go to the store and buy clothes in a size down from what I’d been buying. And if I can lose one more size between now and August, I’ll be buying a new outfit to wear to the ACFW awards ceremony during the conference.
6. Set a budget and live by it. Still haven’t done this. Good project for this week.
7. Spend my time wisely. Man, I’ve been really bad on all of these goals! Which is why I’m updating them. This is a huge downfall area for me, because I’m lazy and I’m a procrastinator. So this is my challenge for the week. I have a schedule I worked out a long time ago, which divides up my evening into small chunks—for housekeeping, dinner, TV, critiquing, writing, and reading; and when I’ve stuck to it, it’s been some of the most productive times I’ve ever experienced. So I’m challenging myself this week to see if I can stick to that schedule and be productive this week.
How are you doing on your personal goals this year?
May 31 Is a Special Day
I’ll bet you didn’t know that some very important things have happened on May 31 throughout the years:
1279 (BC) — Rameses II became pharoah of Egypt
1669 — Author and poet Samuel Pepys records the last entry in his famous diary
1678 — the Godiva procession through Coventry began
1775 — the Mecklenburg Resolutions are adopted, urging the American Colonies to declare independence from Britain
1790 — the first US Copyright statute is enacted (Copyright Act of 1790)
1862 — Battle of Seven Pines (American Civil War)
1864 — Battle of Cold Harbor (American Civil War)
1889 — Johnstown (PA) Flood
1911 — RMS Titanic launched, at which time a White Star employee was quoted as saying, “Not even God himself could sink this ship.”
1916 — Battle of Jutland (WWI)
1927 — the last Model-T Ford rolls off the assembly line
1961 — Republic of South Africa created
1971 — Last Monday in May officially declared “Memorial Day” (U.S.)
1977 — Trans-Alaska pipeline completed
1998 — “Ginger” leaves the Spice Girls
There are also a lot of very special people who were born on May 31:
Comedian Fred Allen (1894)
Actor Don Ameche (1904)
Actor Tom Berenger (1949)
Rapper D.M.C. (Darryl McDaniels) (1964)
Actor Clint Eastwood (1930)
Actor Collin Farrell (1976)
Actress Sharon Gless (1943)
Congressman Duncan Hunter (1948.)
Quarterback Joe Namath (1943)
Pastor, Author, and Founder of Guideposts Norman Vincent Peale (1898.)
Musician Johnny Paycheck (1938.)
Prince Rainier III of Monaco (1923)
Actor Kyle Secor (1957)
Actress Brooke Shields (1965)
Actress Lea Thompson (1961)
Author Walt Whitman (1819)
Comedian Chris Elliot (1960)
American Idol Contestant David Hernandez (1983)
Author Kaye Dacus (19??)
Since I’m here and you’re there, I thought I’d share my virtual birthday cake with you!
Fun Friday–Movie Meme
I was going to write a whole thing on the LOST season finale, but I’m still trying to sort through everything that happened. I’ll be watching it at least once more this weekend.
Instead, I’m reviving a meme I did last summer:
Last three DVDs I purchased:
1. A Hazard of Hearts (a 1988 TV film version of a Barbara Cartland Regency romance, starring a very young Helena Bonham Carter)
2. Jane Austen Collector’s Set, which included the 2008 versions of Sense and Sensibility and Persuasion along with the bio-pic Miss Austen Regrets.
3. Northanger Abbey
The three Netflix movies I currently have at home:
1. P.S. I Love You
2. No Reservations
3. The Incredible Journey of Mary Bryant
First five movies in my Netflix queue:
1. Cloverfield
2. In Bruges
3. The Other Boelyn Girl
4. Jumper
5. Elizabeth: The Golden Age
The last five movies I’ve watched at home:
1. Doom (I own it—the unrated/extended version. So sue me. I LOVE Karl Urban.)
2. Hitman (not recommended; I expected it to be like the Bourne movies, but it fell far short as it was too in love with the blood and bullets that sprayed everywhere throughout the entire movie. That’s why I had to watch Doom afterward. At least in Doom, I know to expect the gore.)
3. Goya’s Ghosts (strange film about the return of the Spanish Inquisition right before Spain fell to Bonaparte after the French Revolution)
4. August Rush (cute movie)
5. The Waterhorse (also a cute movie)
The last three movies I’ve seen at the theater:
1. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (very fun, but a little odd since they went the route of the sci-fi serials of the 1950s instead of keeping it all action/adventure)
2. Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian (went to see it for a second time when I was off work last Friday)
3. Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day (my favorite movie that’s come out so far in 2008.)
The last documentaries/nonfiction films I’ve watched:
1. Indiana Jones and the Ultimate Quest (how the Indy movies have affected archaeology and those entering the field; the real-life archaeology behind Indy’s quests)
2. Ringers: Lord of the Rings Fans (a documentary on the impact of the LOTR books and films on popular culture and fandom)
Three upcoming new releases I’ll go see at the theater:
1. The Happening (June 13)—M. Night Shyamalan’s new film. That’s all I need to know about it.
2. Get Smart (June 20)—Possibly, and mostly only because Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is in it.
3. Hancock (July 4)—Possibly. I think I may have seen too many previews of this movie, because I’m already tired of hearing about it.
2008 Writing Goals Update 2
1. Send in four applications to teach at the ACFW conference: Showing vs. Telling, Critical Reading, Critiquing, and either POV or Setting. Unfortunately, because of the level of professionals with whom I was competing for teaching slots, none of my workshop applications were accepted for ACFW. My new goal is to try to get onto the faculty for the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers’ Conference in 2009.
2. Turn in revisions on Happy Endings Inc. Stand-In Groom early. I turned in the manuscript the last week of March. I’m now trying to line up a few published authors for endorsements as well as getting the art direction worksheet filled out for the cover of Menu for Romance.
3. Volunteer as a judge in the ACFW Genesis contest. DONE. I judged in the contemporary romance category, and one of the five manuscripts I judged is a finalist!
4. Complete A Major Event Inc. Menu for Romance by June 30, 2008 to submit to Barbour by the first week of July. By writing a little more than 1,000 words a day, I’ll have the first draft finished by the end of June (just in time for my brief vacation to Hot Springs, AR, in July!). My contracted deadline for the manuscript is December 1, but I intend to have it polished and ready to turn in before I leave for Minneapolis on Sept. 13.
5. Complete revisions on Ransome’s Honor; begin work on Ransome’s Crossing. The second draft of RH is complete and has been critiqued, and the proposal went to Chip at the beginning of February. We heard back from one publishing house that is very interested in it, but requested some changes to the beginning. Just this week, I received crits back on the new prologue and revised first three chapters. I’d hoped to have those changes finished and the revision back to Chip by Friday, but time has gotten away from me this week, so that’s my project for the weekend. I have made a couple of attempts at starting RC, but nothing that has led me to a point where I feel like it’s a strong opening, thought I do have what is the beginning of a wonderful action scene when the ship Charlotte is on is attacked by a French privateer!
6. Develop and implement pre-release marketing plan for SIG. Still in the “thinking about it” phase on this.
7. Attend Alumni weekend at SHU—possibly co-teach a workshop. Based on airline prices, the cost of renting a car, the difficulty in finding a place to stay within fifteen miles of Greensburg, and the fact that none of the workshops offered for the alumni retreat are of any interest to me, I made the decision that this was not the wisest way to spend my money this year. While it would be nice to see the people who started my final residency graduating, the truth is that I would really be going just to hang out with friends, not for any kind of professional enhancement, which means that I wouldn’t be able to write it off afterward.
8. Pitch the Ransome Trilogy to at least four editors at ACFW conference. If it hasn’t sold by time of the conference, I’ll be sure to do this then.
9. Sell the Ransome Trilogy. See #8
10. Schedule at least one book signing event for January 2009 (yes, I realize that’s next year, but the work will have to be done this year). See #6
How are your writing goals going?
2008 Reading Goals Update 2
Now that we’re almost six months into 2008, I thought I would begin updating my goals. And I’ll start with the list that has completely stalled out since my last update in February.
CBA Fiction
1. Lady of Milkweed Manor by Julie Klassen—Purchased 2/9/08, but I still haven’t read it.
2. Sisters, Ink (Scrapbooker’s Series #1) by Rebeca Seitz—Purchased 2/9/08, but I still haven’t read it.
3. Sweet Caroline by Rachel Hauck
4. My Name Is Russell Fink by Michael Snyder—Purchased 2/14/08, but I still haven’t read it.
5. Faking Grace by Tamara Leigh (doesn’t release until later this summer)
6. For Better or For Worse by Diann Hunt—Read this in February. My review can be found here.
I purchased Linda Windsor’s Wedding Bell Blues on 2/9/08. I began reading it last week, and hope to be able to get back to it this weekend. I’m also wanting to read The Convenient Groom by Denise Hunter, but will wait until after my birthday before ordering it.
ABA Fiction
1. Finish reading the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Finished FOTR before Christmas. Finished TTT in Jan. ’08. Finished reading ROTK in Feb. ’08.
2. The Darkest Evening of the Year by Dean Koontz—Read my review here
3. Fire Study (Study, Book 3) by Maria V. Snyder (I received this book March 1; I have not read it yet.)
4. To Catch A Pirate by Jade Parker (YA)
5. Last One In by Nicholas Kulish Shadow Music by Julie Garwood—Finished reading it 2/7/08. Read my review here.
6. The Bourne Identity by Robert Ludlum
Since I last updated this list, I have picked up several other ABA novels that I’ve read while doing the series on writing the romance novel, all of which I read many years ago when they were new. I’ve read Honor’s Splendor, The Wedding, and The Bride by Julie Garwood; Rosehaven by Catherine Coulter; and The Velvet Promise by Jude Deveraux.
Non-Fiction—have not started on any of these yet.
1. Stealing Fire from the Gods: The Complete Guide to Story for Writers and Filmmakers by James Bonnet
2. Emotional Structure: Creating the Story Beneath the Plot by Peter Dunne
3. Jane Austen on Film and Television: A Critical Study of the Adaptations by Sue Parrill
4. Teaching Creative Writing, Graeme Harper (Ed.)
5. Jane Austen and the Interplay of Character by Ivor Morris
6. The Midnight Disease: The Drive to Write, Writer’s Block, and the Creative Brain by Alice Weaver Flaherty
Though I haven’t read any of those (I have at least purchased Emotional Structure), I have read Scene and Structure (Jack Bickham) and How to Grow a Novel (Sol Stein), as well as Writing the Christian Romance (Gail Gaymer Martin), most of Dangerous Men, Adventurous Women (Ed. Jayne Ann Krentz), Writing the Romantic Comedy (Billy Mernit), and most of all of the books listed on the first Writing the Romance Novel post.
So how are you doing with your TBR pile(s) so far this year?
Writing the Romance Novel: Happy Ending or Happily Ever After?
John Thornton (Richard Armitage) and Margaret Hale (Daniela Denby-Ashe) in North & South
One of the main criticisms of the romance genre is that it sets up unrealistic expectations for what life is really like. We all grew up on the Disney version of romance: Snow White and Sleeping Beauty were doomed to languish forever until receiving true-love’s kiss (never mind the fact that she didn’t know anything about him, having only met him once); Cinderella is doomed to a life of servitude until she attends a ball, where she meets a prince, who then puts her shoe back on for her (never mind the fact that she’s only met him once and doesn’t know anything about him). Belle at least gets to spend time with her Beast of a prince before committing to him in marriage—never mind the fact that his life has just completely and utterly changed and she has no idea what he’ll be like now that he’s a completely different “creature.” Ariel’s non-aquatic prince falls for her when she can’t even talk to him so that he can learn anything about her.
Do you get my point? The ending Disney gives us (and many romantic movies, for that matter) is, “And they lived happily ever after.”
Let’s get real. No one lives “happily” ever after. Contentedly, maybe. Companionably, definitely. But no one can be happy for the rest of their lives.
This is why, in the romance novel, one of the most important parts of the plot is the “lose”—the part of the story in which the hero and heroine are separated, when something comes between them that will possibly take one away from the other. It is their struggle to make things right again, to reconcile their relationship, that lends credence to the idea that these two people will be content together for the rest of their lives.
In a romance novel, we’re striving for a “happy ending,” one that will leave the reader with the confidence that five, ten, thirty, fifty years down the road, this couple will still be together. They will be able to overcome all of life’s unhappiness and find the strength to make it through in each other (and in God, in inspirational romances). That means we must spend the majority of our story showing the reader that these two people have the ability to make their own happy ending. That they aren’t going to give up at the first bump in the road (i.e., they won’t cave under the conflicts that come their way in the story), that they believe in each other (i.e., if their “lose” is based on misunderstanding or a mistrust issue, it must be solved, the trust rebuilt before the conclusion of the story), and that they won’t stray (i.e., why it’s a good idea not to start a romance novel off with one of the two characters already in a serious relationship that’s going well, otherwise, what’s to keep her from dumping the hero and moving on if someone better comes along, if she already has that track record?).
Have you ever finished a romance novel and were absolutely disgusted by the sappily sweet dialogue between the hero and heroine at the end? I feel that way every time I finish writing one of my manuscripts. 😦 Because I’ve never been in a romantic relationship, and because those conversations are usually pretty private, I have a hard time getting my head around what might actually be said in one of those situations. But when I read one that works, I know it, because of the exhilaration I feel, the longing sighs I give, the sadness that the story has ended, the desire to read it again.
This is where filmmakers have it easier than novelists—they can just give us a great kiss at the end and we’re happy. Think about these on-screen kisses: Aragorn and Arwen, From Here to Eternity, Breakfast at Tifffany’s, An Officer and a Gentleman, The Princess Bride (though it does have narrative over it), Say Anything, When Harry Met Sally, Pretty Woman, Four Weddings and a Funeral, Titanic, and Spiderman (not technically a kiss at the ending, but the upside-down kiss). How much easier are those kisses to show than they would be to write?
What filmmakers can show with a kiss or with the hero and heroine riding off into the sunset, we have to do with words, usually with dialogue. When we do it right, it’s like when Michael Vartan comes out onto the pitcher’s mound and kisses Drew Barrymore at the end of Never Been Kissed. When we do it wrong, it’s like that old cliched 1930s/40s kiss with the kicked-up foot, the heroine in a somewhat reclining position in the hero’s arms—what I call the “Calgon, take me away” kiss, because it’s about as substantial as bubbles in a bath.
As I said, I always hate my endings when I write them, but I do try to keep one thing in mind: my characters will never say or do anything at the end of the book that would be completely out of character for them. A hero not well-versed in literature is not going to suddenly start waxing poetic. A heroine who has a strong personality isn’t going to suddenly turn faint and weepy (though she might burst into tears like Eleanor at the end of Sense and Sensibility, because she just can’t stay strong any longer—but that character had the potential to do that from the very beginning). A hero who keeps his emotions bottled up inside isn’t going to find it easy to share what he’s feeling with the heroine—and go on and on about it for paragraphs.
Another thing I try to do with my endings is to somehow tie in the main theme, possibly even the title of the novel, with what is said in the last scene. For example, the last lines of Ransome’s Honor are:
- William’s ship, his career, his reputation—none of it mattered any longer. For, if asked, he would walk away from his crew, forsake his duty, and even sacrifice his own honor to provide for and protect Julia.
Love demanded nothing less.
For Discussion:
How do you like romance novels to end? Lots of dialogue—promises of undying love? A great kiss? A wedding scene? If you’re a romance writer, how do you end your novels?
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