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Fun Friday—You Might Be a Writer If, Bonus Edition

Friday, September 14, 2012

It’s been a couple of years since I’ve done a “You Know You’re a Writer If . . .” post. So, here we go!


  • You try new foods or beverages because it’s something your character likes.
  • You cannot attend a concert without having something to write with—because you can’t sit and listen to music for that long without writing.
  • Your friends put your photo on a milk carton every time you’re on deadline, because you tend to disappear for a couple of weeks.
  • “Taking a vacation” means going somewhere else . . . and writing there, too.
  • You would rather do your (very complicated) income taxes than write a synopsis.
  • You stay for the movie credits/pause the DVD/look at the full cast & crew list on IMDb to collect cool names for your future characters.
  • You can’t bring yourself to read your published books because you’ll die of embarrassment when you discover the typos, grammar errors, and plot holes you know must be in there.
  • You’ve figured out how to write off just about every expense in your life as writing-related.
  • You know that “royalty statement” doesn’t actually mean you’re making royalties.
  • You have a brilliant idea for your story—but no time to write it down. Then, when you do sit down to write, you remember you had an idea, but you can’t remember what it was. And you stress about it so much you get no writing done. Then you wake up in the middle of the night and remember what it was—and it’s the stupidest idea ever.
  • You close your eyes and pantomime the actions of your characters so you can describe them accurately. And you really don’t care what everyone else at Panera thinks about this.
  • Your dreams are occasionally mashups of characters and situations from the different stories you’ve written.
  • You narrate events in your own life, as they happen, in third person—she said wryly.
  • You laugh wickedly and rub your hands together when you write a great conflict scene that you know will drive your readers to the edges of their seats.
  • You know of and are in love with one or more of the following: One Note, Evernote, Quick Office, Scrivener, Story Weaver, or Dramatica Pro.
  • You constantly worry whether or not people who don’t really exist are too nice or if they need more flaws.
  • Then, there are the characters you don’t have to worry about—because they’re not afraid of insulting you or saying nasty things to you, repeatedly.
  • You know why the words “she requested a full” can bring squeals of joy to a table full of writers.
  • You carry at least five pens with you at any given time—because four of them may run out of ink when that idea strikes.
  • When your family member shares their new baby’s name with you, and you tell them they can’t use that name because you’ve already called dibs on it for a character in your next book.
  • You’ve ever tried to direct yourself to dream about your story by forcing yourself to think only about your characters as you’re falling asleep. (Bonus points if this actually worked.)
  • You’ve thought of ten other things I didn’t mention here . . . so please list them in the comments!

More “You Know You’re a Writer If . . .” Posts:
You Know You’re a Writer If . . .
More You Know You’re a Writer If . . .
Even MORE You Know You’re a Writer If . . .
You Know You’re A Writer If, Extended Edition

  1. gweyant permalink
    Friday, September 14, 2012 1:10 am

    You know you a writer if you narrate a screaming fight scene between the two main characters in the middle if a traffic jam. your driving, and the windows are rolled down and everyone can hear you. once more you don’t care.


  2. Friday, September 14, 2012 3:00 am

    You wander grocery store aisles talking out character dialogue…then leave without getting the milk.


  3. Nadine Hapaz permalink
    Friday, September 14, 2012 7:55 am

    This is my first time to read your list. If I didn’t know before, I now know that I’m a (pre-published) writer. I needed that!


  4. WinMar permalink
    Friday, September 14, 2012 10:32 am

    You act out fight scenes in front of your house at night so you can better describe them and then stare at the police officer as he quietly drives by. “Just checking on you, Ma’am.”


  5. Friday, September 14, 2012 12:49 pm

    My name is Rachel, I’m a writer, and I’m in love with Evernote. So much so I bounced out of bed last night, scared Zoe half to death, and opened my laptop to jot down a scene idea in the appropriate note in Evernote.

    Also, you know you’re a writer if you’re you’re addicted to watching the word count up.



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