See also Networking: Stumbling Block #3—Following Up

Becuse of back trouble, I’ve been in and out (mostly out) of church for the past six weeks. Sunday before last, the first time I tried to sit through the whole service, I sat behind a young woman whom I’ve met in passing several times, whose husband I sing with in choir. She was giving the children’s sermon that morning and her back was bothering her too. But instead of asking for prayers for herself, she turned around and asked me how I was doing. I did pray for her throughout the beginning of the service and the children’s sermon, and she did a wonderful job.

Then, a few days later, I received a “Thinking of You” card in the mail from her with a very sweet handwritten note inside—expressing her sympathy over my situation, telling me that she and her husband are praying for me, and hoping that I’ll be able to get back involved in everything going on at church again soon.

I remember being so thrilled just to find a non-business-sized, hand-addressed envelope with a real stamp on it in my mailbox before even realizing it contained such a lovely sentiment. And it made me wonder:

Why did we ever stop doing this?

Again, because confession is good for the soul, I do have to admit that I’m the world’s worst at this. I always have been. You’d think that sitting down and writing someone a congratulatory, sympathy, or “with thoughts” note would be easy for a writer. But over the years, I’ve decided that note-writing is a learned skill and not something that comes naturally to 99% of the population.

For seven years, I worked for a lady who could always be counted on to write notes, especially thank-you notes. Whenever our team gave her a gift—a thank-you note. Whenever I stayed late to finish a project—a thank-you note. Whenever my parents came in town and we invited her out to lunch with us—a thank-you note. She was also great about writing notes of encouragement—whenever someone on her team achieved something, they were sure to find an envelope in their mailbox with a handwritten note telling them how excited she was about their achievement. As a Nashville native—and someone who’d worked in the advertising sales business for many years—she would cull the newspaper every morning looking for names she recognized. She would cut out the article (or the obit) and send a note to the person along with the clipping.

I was and continue to be awed by this skill. It seemed so effortless for her to just keep a stack of her “small” letterhead beside her and pick up a pen and dash off a brief, thoughtful note to someone.

Then I realized: it’s not effortless, but it is easy. So why don’t I do this?

Time.

Effort.

Self-centeredness.

Whoa. That’s hard to admit. But if we each examine ourselves for the reason(s) why we aren’t sending cards to people who’ve been absent from church for a couple of weeks, our acquaintances who’ve accomplished things great or small, friends whom we haven’t seen in a while, etc., it most likely will come down to one of these three reasons. I’ll freely admit that the reason I don’t do it is mostly self-centeredness: I just don’t think about it. If I do think about it, I have the supplies on hand. And I know it doesn’t take long to write a note. But then I’d have to find the address and then go buy stamps. Yes. I’d have to go buy stamps. The half-book of stamps I have at home are thirty-seven cent stamps. That’s how long ago it was that I bought them. Two rate increases ago.

But, I tell myself, an e-mail is just as good—and much less time and effort on my part.

Well, if the recipient is anything like me, they get dozens or scores of e-mails a day. I’m fortunate now to work in a job where getting five e-mails in one day is a heavy day. But on my home e-mail I get bunches and bunches. Not that I mind them—by no means! I love getting e-mails from family and friends and former schoolmates and MTCW members. But these are such daily occurrences that they’ve lost their uniqueness. Anyone can sit down and write an e-mail. (I’m not saying to stop sending them—they’re my lifeline, my only connection to the outside world sometimes!)

Do you remember WAAAAYYYY back when the Internet was in its infancy and e-mail was a new form of communication? It was so cool to receive an e-mail from a friend, especially one who lived far away. “You’ve got mail” were three-and-a-half words we all longed to hear ten or eleven years ago. Now that pretty much everyone has Internet access and e-mail, it has become ordinary, easy to overlook, boring, sometimes nearly meaningless—because it takes hardly any time or effort.

Now think about the last time you got a note, card, or personal letter through snail mail. The envelope that’s a different size or color that immediately differentiates it from the bills, the sales flyers, the junk mail. The handwritten address on the envelope. The real stamp—perhaps one that even reflects the personality of the sender. Do you recognize the return address? Is it from a friend? A relative? Were you sort of expecting it because it’s a special occasion (your birthday, a holiday) or is it totally out of the blue? If it is totally out of the blue, how does it make you feel to be holding it in your hands?

Now, imagine giving the gift of that feeling to someone else.

I am committing to myself that I am going to start sending a card or note to my niece and nephews (who live an eight-hour drive from me in Baton Rouge) at least once a month. What does that have to do with business networking? On the surface, nothing. But if it helps me build the skill of “effortless” note-writing, then it’s going to help me in every aspect of my life, including networking.

Who will you send a note to this month?

See also Networking: Stumbling Block #2–Communication

I’d planned to blog about face-to-face meetings with editors and agents in the conference setting today, but there’s no way I can say it as well as Camy Tang did on Gina’s blog, Portrait of a Writer . . . Interrupted:

Getting Yourself Noticed Part I
Getting Yourself Noticed Part II

So are you ready for your pitch sessions? What are your biggest concerns about meeting with an editor or agent for that frighteningly short fifteen minutes?

See also Networking = Name Recognition = Marketing, Networking: Addendum to Building Name Recognition

Yesterday, I gave some suggestions of how you can start networking when you don’t have the means to go to conferences or spend face-to-face time with other writers.

Aside from building contacts and learning more about the industry, the other important thing you’re doing is building name recognition.

Most of us know other unpublished authors. But think of the ones you know that it surprised you when you found out they’re actually unpublished because they seem so actively involved in the writing community, so knowledgable about the publishing industry, so connected to other published authors.

There is a negative side to building your network/creating name recognition—and that is when it comes to issues that are controversial. I wrote in the original series that I’ve chosen not to blog about hot-button topics such as politics, the war, etc., because I know that not everyone who might read my blog would agree with what I think/believe. Even though there are some blogs/online magazines I enjoy reading that write about these kinds of topics, I do not leave comments on them—most comments are now searchable! (I did this ONCE five or six years ago and it still comes up pretty high in the results when I Google my name!) I don’t want to do anything that might antagonize potential readers, or anything that will taint my image as a professional writer.

This doesn’t just happen with blogs. This is also true with the e-mails we send to groups we’re members of. You don’t want to be so concerned about your image that you don’t express any beliefs or stick to your guns when you’re called on the carpet about something. It just means that you’ve carefully considered everything you’ve written, that you’re not just shooting from the hip, giving in to your knee-jerk reaction. Be thoughtful and considerate when expressing your opinion on topics that might get heated. And if you disagree with another member of the group—whatever you do, don’t make the disagreement public by posting your argument on the main loop! Been there, done that, burned the T-shirt.

When we first start trying to break into the publishing world, our name is our brand. What do you want potential readers, editors, and agents to think of when they hear or see your name? Oh, that’s that person who’s quick to start a fight on the e-mail loop? Or—hey, that’s that guy with the great blog about men who love to cook.

So how are you building name recognition? What image are you developing? And what do you want your “brand” to be—what do you want people to think of when they see your name?

Update 10:11 AM
Amy Jane asked me a few questions about the importance of organization memberships for networking, which I answered in the comments on yesterday’s post. But then the question came up about memberships vs. blogging for networking. Here’s part of my answer to her:

About nine months ago, I decided I wanted to try to increase the number of visits to my blog. So I switched from Blogger to WordPress, where I could make my page my own with a domain and more customizable look. I then went to the blogs of a couple of people I know through ACFW who have forty or fifty links to other writers’ blogs listed on theirs. I copied all of them into a word document, consolidated them, and once a week I would take an hour to an hour and a half and go through the list and read at least the most recent post on all of them. When I ran across those who didn’t update their blogs very often (or ever), I eliminated them from the list. I didn’t comment on every blog every week. Out of about fifty sites, I may have left comments on five or six each week–and most of those are now in my Bloglinks list on my site. Sure it was time consuming, but aside from increasing the readership of my blog from 20-30 hits per day to an average of 90-100 per day (at least half of which come from keyword searches and don’t become regular readers), it’s how I met my critique partners. We were frequenting the same blogs and starting up conversations in our comments on other people’s and our own blogs.

My blog reading is now down to the list that’s on my site. Each morning, in about fifteen or twenty minutes, I visit each of them and leave comments when moved to.

Granted, I have the added networking advantage of being a member of ACFW and active on the forums where I have a link to the blog in my signature line–as well as the opportunity to post announcements there of the series I do. I had considered letting my membership lapse this past spring, as I don’t read the thirty, forty, fifty or more e-mails that go through the main loop every day (same topics tend to repeat every three or four months as the organization grows), but then I started getting more active on the forums and realized I didn’t want to give up that outlet. But I am deriving benefit from that membership fee, so it’s worth it.

You don’t HAVE to network to get published. All you have to do is write good stories and submit, submit, submit. There are plenty of published authors who aren’t members of writing organizations. It’s an advantage to be able to say in your bio that you’re a member of this organization or that which gives you an outlet for word-of-mouth marketing if you are published, but I don’t know that a publishing house has ever turned down a great author simply because he or she didn’t have the right club memberships.

See also Networking–What is it, really?

I worked in the advertising industry for thirteen years before moving over into the publishing world. When I first started in advertising, if I’d been asked to define or describe networking, it would have been what I saw the sales reps I worked with doing—being pushy, forcing people who didn’t really want to talk to them to do so, and above all, closing the sale. Networking and sales to my uninformed mind were the same thing—seven nos means a yes. In other words, keep going back, keep pushing, keep putting on the pressure for the person to say yes.

I now know this is not networking. This is sales.

Networking is a much gentler, more refined skill. Networking is building relationships. Networking is more listening and less talking. Networking is not pushing someone else to do something for you or give you something; networking is creating a positive image of yourself by learning when not to push.

Case in point:

Randy Ingermanson identifies writers’ skill levels by using the terms Freshman, Sophomore, Junior, and Senior. He suggests that when Freshmen and Sophomore writers (and even some early Juniors) set editor/agent appointments, it may be a better idea for them to not pitch anything. But instead, they should go in and ask questions about the industry, about the particular publishing house/agency. By doing this, the amateur/beginner writer is creating a more positive image by showing the editor or agent that you’re interested in growing, in learning more about the industry. (To see more about this, visit Gina’s blog, Writer…Interrupted.)

In the sales industry, there are two types of selling: the hard sell and the soft sell. The hard sell can be summed up by the statment, “He could sell ice to an Eskimo.” This is the P.T. Barnum method—the in your face, my product is the best in the world, let me show you the demographics and statistics, pressure-pressure-pressure sell. These are the sales reps who make the big bucks, but who also lose a lot of clients because of their abrasive methods. You always know they’re trying to sell you something. This is not the impression we want to give off.

The soft sell is word of mouth, brand-image sales. It’s a new restaurant that opens its doors to bloggers first and gives them a free sample meal in hopes of receiving tons of positive reviews. It’s me telling a friend at work that I just recently bought a certain type of hair product, and I absolutely adore it. It’s every time I mention Stein on Writing on this blog (have you bought your copy yet?). It’s creating an image that generates brand-loyalty. Why do millions of people buy John Grisham’s new novel without even knowing what it’s really about? Because they’re loyal to his image, to the brand he’s created as a writer. This is much closer to what networking is all about.

So how can you start networking if you can’t afford to attend conferences or don’t yet have the gumption to break out of your shell and talk to strangers?

Become an avid blog reader and commenter. Visit blogs of your favorite authors and start leaving comments—not just random comments, but thoughtful insights and responses to what the person has written. But not in such a way that you’re trying to pull the attention away from the blogger’s post and onto yourself. Be respectful and humble.

Become a blogger. Make sure your blog has a focus. Do you write about characters who are gardeners? Make your blog gardening related. Blogs that have a focused topic (like writing or gardening) tend to be better read than those that read more like a personal diary.

Participate in online author/editor/agent chats. These are usually hosted through a writing organization like ACFW or RWA. Again, don’t just post randomly or try to pull the attention away from the guest and onto yourself.

Become actively involved in organizations. Even if it’s just an online group that never meets face to face. It’s almost a must for writers who really want to succeed to join a writing group—whether it’s ACFW or ACW, RWA or MWA, or even a local or regional general writing group. Get involved and start communicating with other writers.

What are some other ways you’ve found to start networking without having to do it face to face?

Back in July 2006, I started a series about Networking by relating an experience I took advantage of when I saw someone I’d worked with at the newspaper doing a book signing at a local Barnes & Noble ($3, Book–$12, Networking–Priceless). While nothing ever came of that opportunity, here’s another one that has worked out for me.

In the spring of 2005, I was halfway through grad school, serving as VP of ACFW, and working in a job that was just sapping all joy from me. I wanted to break into the publishing industry and was willing to do it from either the marketing or the editorial side. A friend of mine e-mailed me one day that the then-publisher of Warner Faith (now FaithWords) had announced on a published-authors’ loop that he was looking for an editorial assistant.

I immediately put together a resume package and drove down to the office and dropped it off. As chance (or Providence) would have it, Chip MacGregor was coming through the lobby on his way out of the office. He stopped, recognizing me from the several times we’d crossed paths at previous ACFW conferences. He didn’t have time to talk then, but took my resume with him on his out-of-town trip.

A couple of weeks later, he called me in for an interview. He told me that the position had been reallocated, so he didn’t really have any job to hire me for, but that he’d still wanted to meet with me. We discussed my career plans (he gave me some of the best career advice I’ve ever received, which led to my eventually becoming a copy editor at another publishing house). We then started talking about ACFW (I was Vice President of the organization at the time). Our conversation turned into a working relationship as Warner Faith became the sponsor for the next year’s ACFW Genesis Contest for unpublished authors.

At the 2005 ACFW conference, I took Chip’s continuing ed. course, which I learned so much from, but also used it as an opportunity to do a little more networking. He even introduced me to one of his editors who was at the conference.

In 2006, my manuscript was a top-five finalist in the Genesis contest. I hadn’t planned to attend the conference, but when I learned my status, I decided to go just for the awards ceremony. It would give me a chance to see a few friends—and it would give me the opportunity to speak to the agent I really wanted to submit to. And, while I was there, I planned to connect with Chip MacGregor, just to keep that line of networking open.

Upon my arrival at the public book signing (just before the banquet), I heard that Chip had announced earlier at the conference that he was leaving FaithWords and starting his own agency. I knew then that I needed to submit my manuscript to him. So, fighting back my abject fear of putting myself forward and initiating a conversation, I caught him in the hall. He was on his way to an appointment but was more than willing to look at my submission. I got his business card and tucked it away. I did the same with the agent I’d originally thought I was there to see. I’d been so sure God had been directing me toward submitting to the first agent that finding out Chip was now back in the agent-game just seemed icing on the cake.

The first agent resoundingly rejected my manuscript. A few days later, Chip called and asked for a full. I signed with him just a few months later.

As an unpublished author, being signed by one of the top agents in the industry was a miracle in and of itself. As a pragmatist, I can look back over the past few years and see all of the times when my path crossed Chip’s and I made the effort to network with him. As someone who has spent years learning how to network, I know that if I had not recognized and taken the opportunities to forge a professional-level relationship with Chip, he might not have been so willing to sign an unproven author.

Networking still does not come easily to me—especially now that I work in a small office, I’m not going to a week-long residency with seventy or eighty other students twice a year, and I don’t usually find myself in situations where I’m having to exert myself. So I have a feeling getting back into the swing of networking is going to be harder at the 2007 ACFW Conference in two weeks. But I’m going to try to take advantage of every opportunity that comes my way.

Okay, your turn now—what results have you seen results from professional networking?