Monday night at the Ted Dekker book-signing event at the Lifeway in Cool Springs, I had the opportunity to chat with several fellow MTCW members. One of the topics that came up is how it seems like recently we’d much rather re-read a book than pick up a new one, and how we (or at least I) would rather revise than compose when it comes to writing.

I used to love to go to the bookstore and buy five or six new novels. And I’d be back in two or three weeks to get more, having devoured those in just a few days each. Now, I go to the bookstore and (after looking to see if they have Stand-In Groom and how many copies are on the shelf) after looking at the covers and reading back cover copy, I put the books back on the shelf thinking, I’d probably really enjoy that story; but I know if I buy it, it’ll just sit on a shelf for a couple of years unopened, unread, so what’s the point? (Yes, I think with semicolons.)

Excuse me? What’s the point of buying new books to read? When did I sink so low? I used to read 50+ new books every year! I could lose myself in just about any book. And there were very few that I would put away unfinished. If I started reading it, I finished it, even if it wasn’t the most interesting/enthralling story. I had favorite authors whose books I bought without even reading the cover copy, simply because it had the author’s name on the cover.

Then, when it came to writing, it used to be that I constantly had folded up pieces of paper or napkins or church bulletins in my purse or in a stack or folder beside the computer waiting to be typed in, because I so enjoyed writing that I did it anywhere/everywhere I went (including at work, waiting for appointments, at concerts, etc.). It was what I looked forward to getting home from work to do in the evenings. I completed first drafts of novels in months instead of years. And even if I didn’t “feel” like writing, I powered through and did it anyway, because I knew I couldn’t let a little thing like apathy keep me from doing it. Once I completed one manuscript, I couldn’t wait to go on to write the next story. I loved the composition process. I loved getting lost in the world of my story. I loved spending time with my characters. I loved sitting down each day to discover what they were going to do/where the story was going that day.

Now, I have to force myself to sit down to write. And even when I do, all I can think about is everything else I’d rather be doing. (Of course, maybe part of the problem is that I always was the most prolific when I didn’t logically seem to have time to write—like my second-to-last semester of college when I was working full-time, taking 9 semester hours of senior-level classes with tons of reading and papers, and serving as an officer with ACFW for an additional 10-15 hours per week, not to mention a couple of physical therapy appointments each week for the ruptured disc in my lower back—and I wrote a 75,000 word manuscript.) (Wow, that was a long parenthetical statement.)

The more I started thinking about how things used to be, the more I started analyzing how I’ve changed since then that precipitated this turn-around in attitude.

And it comes down to one thing: knowing the rules.

Learning about and continuing to study the craft of writing brought about a fundamental change in the way my brain works when performing the functions of reading and writing.

We’ve all heard that analytical functions (math, science, accounting, taxes, rules, regulations, calorie counting, etc.) are done with the left-side of the brain, while creative functions (art, crafts, music, creating, singing, painting, dancing, day-dreaming, laughing, entertainment, etc.) are done with the right-side. So, it’s logical to follow that when reading and writing, we’re using mostly the right-side of the brain (with a little help from the left brain to control interpretation of the symbols on the printed page, comprehension, choosing the right words, spelling said words, and using whatever punctuation it wants to throw in for good measure.!$,.

However, once I started learning the rules, once I started getting feedback on my own writing, whenever I sat down to write, I had all these things that the left-side was trying to impose on the right-side (the write-side) that kept me from slipping fully into that creative slip-stream that used to carry me away when composing. But this is also what makes the revision process so rewarding for me: because at least in that process, having both sides operating at about equal strength is a benefit. Not only do I need the creative side for rewriting, but I need the analytical side for telling me what needs to be revised, how, and why.

This equilibrium between the hemispheres of gray matter has wreaked equal havoc with my enjoyment of reading. Again, I used to be able to slide very easily into the right-brain slip-stream and lose myself in someone else’s world, with someone else’s characters. Now, though I might enjoy the story I’m reading at a visceral level, my brain is constantly working, analyzing the plot structure and trying to think ahead and figure out what’s going to happen next, analyzing the characters, analyzing the style and voice and tone, analyzing the author’s choice of POV and tense and pacing, and so on. And that’s a lot of effort, even if it is on more of a subconscious level (if it’s a book I’m really enjoying) or more to the surface (if it’s a book I’m reading critically). However, one of the reasons I’d much rather read an old favorite is because, for some reason, the left-brain shuts up and doesn’t bother me, letting me enjoy the process of reading.

Is there a way to go back, to quiet the left-brain and let the write-brain out to play with no rules again? Probably not. But just as stroke or brain-injury victims often make miraculous recoveries when their brains figure out how to redirect/reconfigure the way messages get sent from one side to the other as well as to different parts of the body, there has to be a way for me to silence the left-side whenever I need to and find the slip-stream and enjoy the composing process once more.

Have you noticed a change in your attitudes toward writing/revising/reading in the time you’ve been studying the craft of writing? How do you deal with it?