I woke up really nervous on Sunday morning—and it wasn’t because I was supposed to give the prayer at graduation. Change makes me nervous, and all graduation is, when you really think about it, is a major change. When I graduated undergrad, I had this Masters program to look forward to—yes, a change, but also a knowing what would happen next. Now, having already started a new job, finaled in the ACFW Genesis contest, and possibly finding a new church home all before final residency began, what did I have to look forward to? I’ve been attending school part-time since 1999! I vaguely remember the few years (1993-1999) when I was working full time without going to school—and what I remember of them is rather “blah.” No real purpose. Nothing to fill my time or my mind—well nothing “structured” anyway. Even with as independent-minded as I am, I know that if I don’t have some kind of structure imposed on me from outside, I start to cycle into depression and isolation. Before, I filled my “spare” time with (probably too many) church groups, committees, choirs, classes (teaching), and activities. As with anything that one pours oneself into without seeing any to much fruit in return, I burned out (which is one of the reasons I’ve been out of church for nearly two years). Sure, graduating means more time to read again, as the only reading I’ve done in the last few years—with the exception of the Harry Potter books—has been only for school. Sure, it means more time to write, but now I don’t have critique partners any more, nor do I have writing term contracts and deadlines.

Anyway, These were just some of my ruminations as I dressed in my black skirt and tank (as I’d been told I wouldn’t have time to change before graduation) and then headed for campus one final time as a student, my freshly ironed graduation robe hanging in the back seat, mortarboard and tassel in my bag.

One final workshop, “Teaching Writing/Popular Fiction” (or How to Become a Writer Who Teaches), lay between me and being finished. Lawrence Connelly, who taught this session, was fabulous and gave us a lot to think about and a lot of options.

After workshop, while all the other students went to the cafeteria, we graduates went down to the second floor for a “fancy” lunch (nice salad bar) with faculty, staff, and alumni, where we got the pitch from the Alumni Association.

As soon as lunch was over, Dr. Terrance DePasquale (Assoc. Dean for Graduate Studies) walked us through “graduation rehearsal.” When I got down front, there was a notebook on my chair which had the entire ceremony scripted out so that I would know when to go up to give the prayer—and to my horror discovered a canned prayer in the script. When the call had gone out for a volunteer to “read” the prayer, I volunteered, then spent quite a while researching commencement prayers and writing one appropriate for an interfaith group as well as reflective of the program and my own personal faith (see the text of my prayer here). I was so disappointed, because I was really pleased with it. After the walk-through, we had about an hour and a half to kill. I called Jill Henry to let her know I’d thought of her when they’d tried to teach us the alma mater which includes the phrase “hoary halls.”

After bouncing off the walls for a while, I went into the computer lab to read several days’ worth of e-mails and kill the rest of the time until it was time to go downstairs and put on our Hogwarts robes.

Once we started lining up, I decided to find out for sure about the prayer-thing. So I asked Mike Arnzen and he told me that I could read the one I’d written, so I skipped back into the room where we’d prepared and grabbed the copy of the prayer I’d been carrying around with me all week.

As I followed David Corwell down the aisle into the un-air conditioned Cecilian Hall, I couldn’t hold back a huge smile as I saw so many friendly faces in the audience, all cheering for us, and remembering sitting there in times-past cheering on those who went before me. I knew these were people whose influence had shaped my life and whose friendships I hope to cultivate and maintain for the rest of my life.

When time came to give the prayer, I mounted the stage with confidence—yet when I took my place at the lectern, I found, as had happened at my thesis presentation, that I couldn’t catch my breath! Finally, after a few lines, I took what seemed like a huge pause to take a deep breath before continuing. After the Amen, I introduced Diana Botsford, our commencement speaker, and returned to my seat.

Once again, as Diana began speaking, God’s hand became apparent. Dr. Al’s theme for the week had been critiquing—but more so about being a supportive community of writers. In my prayer—written weeks before arriving—I thanked God for the paths He’d led us all on to intersect our lives and to also to use our writing to help build community. Diana’s speech—also written weeks before residency—was about being a community, learning from each other, and continuing to support each other even as we graduate and go out into our separate worlds. If we’d tried to all work with one theme, we couldn’t have meshed it so well.

After the ceremony, we processed out to melt—I mean to be greeted and congratulated by all of our well-wishers. I had the honor of being able to give our class gift to Wendy privately and finally made it into the reception room about half an hour later, parched and in search of something to drink.

After nearly everyone had gone, Melissa, Analisa, and I went back to the hotel to change clothes and put our feet up for a while before picking up Aubrey Curry (a One and new “Chick” inductee) and meeting Susan Isola at Texas Roadhouse for a celebratory dinner (I had prime rib which was FAB).

After dinner, we took Aubrey back to our room and Melanie came down to hang out for a while. I spent the time while we were talking and laughing to pack. At 10:00, when we were all ready to crash, Analisa and I loaded up all of our remaining food, dropped Aubrey off at her hotel, then drove back up to campus to try to find Teffany to give her the food, since she was staying until Tuesday and the cafeteria wouldn’t be open. We figured we’d just go up to the dorm and hope we could find her—or leave the food where she might find it. Guess who happened to be out for a late stroll when we drove up. Yet another “God Thing.” We went back to the hotel after talking with Teffany for a few minutes, and spent the drive revisiting the many instances of “God Things” that had happened through the week and called it a night as soon as we got back to the room.

Monday morning, we got up, loaded everything into the car, and met Melanie at Denny’s for a big breakfast before she took off for Harrisburg to the east and we pointed the car northwest for Pittsburgh and points beyond.

I would say “for the last time,” but as I plan to return to SHU next June for the Alumni Retreat, I know I’ll be back, just in a different capacity. Then if/when I get published, I may get to go back in another capacity—as an instructor/mentor!