The feature article in the January 25, 2006 ChristianSinglesToday.com newsletter is about things that well-meaning friends or family members say to singles that make us uncomfortable or even resentful.  We know that our married friends and family only want us to find happiness, but does it follow that one must be married to be happy?  Don’t get me wrong, I desire to be married, but is it so bad to enjoy my singleness in the meantime?

I guess what set me off thinking about this is overhearing one side of a phone conversation at work this week.  The young woman who sits in the cubicle beside mine got engaged a couple of weeks ago.  Which, considering she already lives with her boyfriend is probably a good thing.  I’ve met the boyfriend, and believe me when I say I’m totally not jealous that she got engaged to him.  What rankles me is her saying to everyone, “Yeah, it’s been a long time coming.”  The girl just turned TWENTY FOUR years old!  She’s nearly eleven years younger than me.  What does she know about a long time coming?  She’s been dating this guy for a couple of years.  I haven’t had a guy ask me out in the entirety of my nearly thirty-five years of life!

When I set aside my knee-jerk reaction (okay, no I don’t like this person very much to begin with, either, which is the other reason why I have such a strong reaction to what she says) and analyze why I reacted so strongly to this comment it just comes down to being tired of waiting.  I don’t feel like I’m one of those people who has put my life on hold while waiting for the perfect man to come along and sweep me off my feet.  I’ve made a life for myself in Nashville.  I’ve taken the opportunity to return to school and complete and continue my higher education.  As I look at the possibility of changing careers within the next six to nine months, I’m more concerned about staying or moving where I’ll be close to my parents who are getting ready to retire than about where I’m likely to meet “Mr. Right” (or Mr. Smith or Mr. Jones…).

I guess this is why I write romance in exclusion to anything else.  Because I do so desire to fall in love and have someone fall in love with me in return.  I have been in love once in my life, when I was 20, with the very handsome and charming 3rd string quarterback who will always hold a special place in my heart.  We spent a considerable amount of time together and everyone thought we were dating, but unfortunately, I was only his “bud.” The funny thing was, even though I was writing thinly-veiled fiction about me and all of my friends at college at the time, I didn’t even write my fictional self getting together with him.  I wrote about me finding someone else even more perfect.  All the same, when he eventually moved away to play football at a smaller school, I was heartbroken for a long time.  

While waiting to fly home from Dallas at Christmas, I wrote out my “Prayer for the New Year” which includes asking God to bring my future husband into my life this year.  I know if it’s not His will, it won’t happen, but I also know that He wants us to pray specifically.  Now, this doesn’t mean that I’m going to rush out and try to hook-up with the first single Christian guy I meet.  But it does mean that I’ll be focusing on things about myself that need to be addressed before I’ll make a good wife, such as leading an active, healthy lifestyle, becoming a better housekeeper, getting my finances straightened out, and becoming a whole person in Jesus so that I’m not depending on a fallible human man to make me feel complete.

Then, when I finally do fall in love and get engaged, I’ll be able to say “it’s been a long time coming” and it’ll actually mean something!