In which I get on my singleness soapbox in a comment on HuffPost
I subscribe to the Singles page on HuffPost. Granted, most of the articles are about dating and sex, but occasionally there are little gems I find encouraging or humorous or supportive.
So when I saw the title “10 Things You Didn’t Know about Single Americans” as the header of their new post* in my Google Reader on Tuesday, I clicked over to see what they came up with. Here they are, in the order they presented them:
- “Friends With Benefits” Are More Common Than Ever
- More Women Are Waiting for Commitment to Have Sex
- More Americans Are Meeting Dates Online
- Most People Are Putting A Partner’s [sexual] Satisfaction First
- Despite Consequences, Sexting Remains Common
- Digital Transparency [from a partner] Is A Must (i.e., a partner must not hide his/her e-mail, text messages, etc.)
- Your Online Persona Is More Important Than Ever (because people will research you online before going out on a date with you)
- Single People Are Optimistic About Marriage
- Married People Have More Orgasms (wait—I thought this list was about single people???)
- Everybody Snoops
The items that aren’t specifically about dating/sex/relationships (or marriage) apply to everyone, not just unmarried people.
Which, of course, led me to get on my singleness soapbox and post the following comment:
Why does everything in this list have to do with sex and relationships? Here’s something the authors of the article and the study don’t know about singles: OUR LIVES DON’T REVOLVE AROUND DATING AND SEX. We have jobs, interests, hobbies, friends, family. We enjoy traveling, eating out, going to the theatre, reading, writing, listening to music, playing music. We pursue higher education/graduate degrees at a higher rate. We start businesses, buy houses, adopt children, care for aging parents. Our lives are not all about finding “Mr./Ms. Right” or even “Mr./Ms. Right Now.” Many of us are single in the truest sense of the word: we’ve learned to be content with not being in a romantic relationship at all. We live alone, we are self-sufficient, and we are happy.
But I guess people just aren’t interested in any aspect of single people’s lives other than how much sex we’re having and trying to quantify how desperate we all are to get married.
*Yes, I did see that the “research” had been conducted by Match dot com, but I thought maybe they might actually have something interesting/groundbreaking/true to say. Why I thought this, I don’t know.