Comments on: Make POV Work for You: More on Character Description

By: Becky Miller

Becky Miller — Sat, 09 May 2009 21:32:20 +0000

I noticed the descriptions of George’s eyes and of Meredith in reading SIG and your excerpt from MFR. I liked how they said something about the POV character’s preferences and knowledge base. That’s a wonderful idea – to use description to tell the reader about both the person being described AND the one doing the describing.

Is that a P&P reference (“Tolerable”) in your excerpt above? : )

By: Jess

Jess — Wed, 06 May 2009 22:22:16 +0000

I hadn’t thought about using colors. Stephen King has a thing about not describing clothes, (I believe the phrase, “it’s a book, not a J. C. Penney catalog” was used) but it’s such a shortcut to the character’s personality. If it doesn’t tell anything, such as describing that your character wears old jeans to work in her garden–who wouldn’t?–that’s one thing, but if it furthers the reader’s insight, that’s another.
However, it’s kind of funny when a sixty-year-old writer describes what a twenty-year-old character is wearing, and it sounds like something that would be worn by…a sixty-year-old writer.

By: Renee

Renee — Wed, 06 May 2009 04:58:18 +0000

You made a really good point in this post. I guess I never really thought about it much before, maybe it’s because I’ve only written research papers but I guess it’s extremely important to make a description of one person from a person of the opposite sexs’ point of view relevant to that characters interests. I guess a tomboy wouldn’t compare a guys eyes to the blue fabric of a dress but rather the shade of her favorite tee. Thanks for giving me something to think about!

By: Kaye Dacus

Kaye Dacus — Wed, 06 May 2009 00:56:15 +0000

Alexandra,
I’m going to be doing a post on writing in the male POV soon (hopefully Thursday? Depends on how long the Show vs. Tell discussion lasts, cuz I still have at least one more post on that topic!). However, to get you started, go back and re-read the post about internal vocabulary (http://kayedacus.com/2009/04/30/make-pov-work-for-you-character-vocabulary/) and start coming up with words—especially adjectives and nouns—that are unique to your hero.

I gave an example there from Ransome’s Honor where William uses nautical technology in his interior description of Julia, comparing the curve of her neck to the curve of the hull of a ship. Writing it that way doesn’t work, but in his POV, it does—because that’s his view of the world.

Here’s a description of her from the viewpoint of the other POV male character, who is standing across the room awaiting her arrival in the belief that his mother is going to manipulate Julia into marrying him:

When the crowd around them parted, Drake drew in a sharp breath. A gown of pale green that would not be out of place at St. James’s flowed and draped the figure of a Greek goddess. Her long russet hair, unfashionably loose around her shoulders and in a cascade of plump curls to her waist, framed a face tolerable enough to see across the breakfast table each morning. Although small, her mouth was well shaped. But the square set of her jaw and somewhat stubbornly pointed chin kept her from being a true beauty.

He took several steps forward, then stopped. Why would a woman with wealth and tolerable looks such as hers remain unmarried at her age?

By: Alexandra

Alexandra — Tue, 05 May 2009 23:26:02 +0000

Wonderful post. I’m going back through my book and trying to incorperate this in my writing. How “poetic” can a guy wax, anyway? Especially if it’s a historical novel? There’s nothing worse than ultra-mushy-oh-so-not-guy-like descriptions, but judging from the classics written by men, a guy describing a gal in the 1800′s might do a wee bit differently than a man in the 21st century.

By: prov33

prov33 — Tue, 05 May 2009 21:57:33 +0000

Great post, Kaye! I really appreciate the input about the internal vocabulary. I am getting a lot out of your lessons, and often refer back to your previous ones.
Thanks for all your hard work and sharing your wealth of wisdom. Gail’s book is excellent. I have a copy. So, when are you going to publish your writer’s wisdom?

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Tue, 05 May 2009 19:48:42 +0000

Okay, I’m just throwing this in because I’m curious how many people do this. I read character descriptions, but I rarely actually see the character as the author has described them. After the first couple pages of a character I form my own mental picture, especially if there’s no description added in those first pages. I can’t tell you how many times my “imagination” has completely replaced the author’s descriptions. And when I finish a book and people ask me to describe a character as the author described them nine times out of ten I get it wrong.
I know a little off track, sorry.

What comes out more to me are characters personality – that will stay with me so much longer than the physical description. That said, I know there’s no way to get away with writing a book with out character “physical” description. One thing I’ve found that actually makes me remember a characters description more is when it relates back to a characters personality. The best example I can think of is Anne and her red hair in Anne of Green Gables right now. But even in my books I try and relate physical descriptions back to a personality trait of my character so I (and the reader) can hold on to that description in their head.